february flashback

Looking back at the month of February is a bit like when something really awful or embarrassing happens to you and it takes a while for you to be able to laugh about it. Kind of like when I was a freshman in college hanging out in 2 of my teammates dorm room and I got my hands stuck in their loft. Instead of helping me out they pantsed me down to my knees and their door was wide open which was wonderful because it was a good minute before I got my hands undone and there were at least a dozen people that saw. Good news is, the next day I put every single bulb from her Christmas lights strung around her bed up my nose and told her later to put them in her mouth because it would be funny to watch her cheeks light up. But really, during the entire month of February I kind of felt like I had my pants around my knees. Now that I've been here almost four months (wowza) I can laugh about it because it all is pretty hilarious to think about...so I thought I'd share so you can make fun of me too:)

First week of February: I had been going through this month long ordeal of being told that I was on a waiting list basically because they had hired too many teachers. Midweek though, I get a call saying that basically I either wasn't going to be going to Korea or I would potentially be leaving at the end of March. So, I had completely moved out of my house and had left my car in Arizona at Christmas so was both carless and homeless. Luckily I have amazing friends. Unluckily for them, I was an absolute horror to be around. I went from crying to contemplating alcoholism in the midst of an "Intervention" marathon on A&E on a daily basis. One friend in particular kept me as sane as I possibly could be and carted me around for an entire month even when I did have either fire or tears coming from my eyes. Bless her heart.

Second week: Still a monster to be around. On Friday of this week though I get a phone call from UPS saying they have a package for me from South Korea. I call my recruiters and they say "Oh, we haven't heard anything about you getting a notice of appointment." She calls me back 5 minutes later and says "Welp, that's your notice of appointment which means you'll need to be in Korea by next Thursday meaning that you'll have to leave by Wednesday at the latest." So, I spent the next four days going back and forth from Seattle getting my visa situated, putting my every belonging into storage (Harrison family is amazing), booking my ticket, and freaking out.

Third week: I made desperate attempts to see everyone and felt like a complete turd knowing that I wouldn't get to see some of my friends before I left. Tuesday night Tim had the team over for dessert so we could say goodbye and it wasn't until everyone started to leave that I realized this wasn't a normal team dealy and I wasn't going to get to see these people for an entire year. So, I tried my best not to cry as I said goodbyes and when I got to Missy I felt like I wanted to bawl but tried super hard to hold it together. Not that I love Miss more than anyone else, haha. I was just an emotional basketcase. Funny thing is that for an hour after everytime someone said "Missy" the floodgates would open. It's like that word was the cue for me to cry. I stayed with one of my best friends that night and I cried for a good 30 minutes while I was trying to fall asleep and I'm pretty sure she had no clue. The next day was a blur. All I know is that I felt like I was gonna either barf or cry at the drop of a dime the entire day.

Fourth week: During my first 7 days in Korea, I was at a University with 400 other Westerners and it was awesome. The dorm rooms were like the Queen's palace compared to PLU's (sorry PLU...just sayin...) and we were living in this little English bubble. But that Friday came the bomb. We were taken to our cities and dropped off with our co-teachers. That night I ate a dog and then was taken to my apartment that looked like a Korean jail cell (don't worry it's better now. I've put so many things on my walls it's almost ridiculous). I woke up that next morning and went for a good 3 hour walk where I got incredibly lost. When I finally got back to the jail cell, I sat down at my computer and cried harder than I've probably cried since I was twelve years old. No joke. I felt like I had been dropped off in space...except I think I would have felt more comfortable if I was dropped off in actual space...with no spacesuit.

It's kind of fun to think back because in a way you can see so obviously how much you've grown through the whole process of being thrown into another culture that has almost no comparison to your own. I was such a pansy 4 months ago.

And geez louise do I cry a lot.